The Dilemma: The Philistine Heart (Book 2)

  The Dilemma

  The Philistine Heart (Book 2)

  Jean Evergreen

  Jean Evergreen

  Copyright © 2017 by Jean Evergreen

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Contents

  Advisory

  1. Unfinished Business

  2. Girl Talk

  3. Home Sweet Home

  4. New Beginnings

  5. A Walk Down Memory Lane

  6. Trouble

  7. Dangerous Territory

  8. 100% Grade-A Man

  9. Down the Rabbit Hole

  10. The Morning After

  11. Obsession

  12. Fuzzy on the Details

  13. Unintended Consequences

  14. The Writing’s on the Wall

  15. Cookie Dough

  16. Intent

  17. Betrayal

  18. A Huge Misunderstanding

  19. The Point of No Return

  20. A Solid Victory

  Thank you for reading!

  Advisory

  Please be advised, this book is meant for mature audiences. It contains graphic scenes, explicit language and references to violence.

  The Philistine Heart Saga is a dark romance that focuses on drama and suspense. It is not a feel good, light hearted read. If you are sensitive to adult content, or are easily “triggered,” this might not be a good book for you.

  One

  Unfinished Business

  “Jason, my man. Long time no see, brother.”

  “Nate, it’s been too long.” Jason stood up from his stool as they clasped hands together, pulling each other in for a one armed hug and a hearty pat on the back.

  “No kidding. What’s it been now, five years? When did you get back into New York?”

  “Six months ago. I would have called you sooner, but you know how it is with moving.”

  “Yeah man, I know,” Nate said, seating himself next to Jason at the bar. “So, what brought you back to the Big Apple? Last I heard, you were living it up in California. Did all that sun finally start chafing?”

  “Yeah, two years ago. I just left Seattle.”

  “Seattle, nice. Are you here for good?”

  “I don’t know. That depends on Amber.”

  “Oh man. I heard about her. I didn’t know you two were involved. How is she?”

  Jason shook his head, “Honestly, not good. She’s under 24-hour psychiatric care. She tried to slit her wrists two weeks ago. They put her on a heavy sedative, so she’ll stop harming herself.”

  “It’s crazy to think about Amber that way. The last time I saw her was 13 years ago at a Pearl Jam concert. She disappeared backstage into a dressing room, with two of the roadies, after jacking $200 and the stash of weed from my backpack. When I went after her, one of those dickheads blocked the doorway and threatened to bash my face in if I tried to go any further. I yelled to get her attention, but she was too busy snorting coke lines off a guitar case. I ended up leaving her there, along with my money and the weed. I remember thinking that day, after what she did to me, I was done with her. At the time, I had no idea how right I was.”

  “Yep, that was Amber,” Jason replied curtly, clearing his throat.

  “It’s depressing, but kind of inevitable, when you think about it. Amber was into a lot of hardcore stuff. Most of us graduated and moved on with our lives. With Amber, there was no moving on. She was always destined to self-destruct. But even she didn’t deserve what happened to her. How are you holding up?”

  “I’m alright,” Jason said evenly, wringing his hands together as he rested his elbows on the bar. “Amber and I were done with each other a long time ago. Right now, my primary concern is to get her sober and lucid. You see, the thing is, we have a son together. He doesn’t know the extent of her illness, and I’d like to keep him ignorant of how sick she is for as long as possible.”

  “Wow!” Nate exclaimed with a high pitched whistle. “Now that’s a real bombshell. Yeah … I heard she had a kid; I didn’t know it was yours. Did you know she was in a coma all these years?”

  “I only found out a year ago, around the same time I learned about my son. Brent called me. I wasn’t surprised about the coma though; I was the one who took her to the hospital. I never knew what happened to her after I left. I assumed, when I didn't hear from her all these years, that she woke up from her coma and moved on,” Jason replied, purposefully leaving out one crucial detail — that he was the one responsible for inducing her coma. Fortunately, Nate wasn’t the type to ask too many questions; a fact which suited Jason nicely, since he wasn’t the type to divulge unnecessary detail.

  “Man, five years suddenly feels like another lifetime. So much has changed. Are you still in AA?”

  “No, not for a long time now; it's been years since I’ve needed that. Although, given our history, maybe a sports bar isn't the most prudent meeting venue. How about you?”

  “Nah, this place has the best burgers around. Besides, I haven’t had a drink in years. I fell off the wagon a few times a while back, but I’ve been clean since I married Jennifer.”

  “I’m happy to hear it. Those were dark days for both of us, better to leave them behind,” Jason said with a friendly smile.”

  “Well, this is some depressing shit,” Nate sighed.

  “Yeah, maybe we should order,” Jason agreed. He hailed the waitress — a pretty brunette, no older than 19, dressed in mini shorts and a t-shirt tight enough to be a second skin. Jason smiled knowingly at Nate, watching his friend’s eyes light up as they zeroed in on her well-endowed breasts — which in all fairness would be difficult for a gay priest to ignore. Except that Nate had the tendency to linger. Same old Nate.

  The waitress approached them with a light bounce in her step, undoubtedly enjoying being the center of focus for two good looking, young men. Nate always was an ideal partner for picking up women. “Hey guys, ready to order?” she asked, shooting them each a flirtatious smile — her ordering pad and pen ready in her hand.

  “You know, I’m having trouble deciding what to get, what do you recommend?” Nate asked. His smile was unwavering as he leered at her from head to toe.

  “Hmm, well let me think,” she tapped the pen on her lips as though she were deeply pondering his question. “I bet a tough guy like you can work up a pretty monstrous appetite," she said, eyeing Nate's rather sizable biceps, which were even more pronounced in his t-shirt. "I'd think you would want something large and juicy to sink your teeth into.”

  Jason smiled at Nate, knowing precisely what he’d like to sink his teeth into.

  “The Boss Burger is definitely the way to go,” she continued matter-of-factly, blissfully unaware of the suggestive imagery she'd planted in Nate's head. “It has a large, juicy, all beef patty, cheddar cheese, bacon, our special homemade chili and a fried egg.”

  “Hmm, that sounds pretty good. Tell me, what do you put in the chili that makes it so special?” Nate asked, the lewd smirk never leaving his face.

  “That’s a secret, but you look like someone who can handle secrets,” she said, leaning in and whispering into his ear while placing her hand on his arm. Nate listened intently, his grin growing wider with every word.

  “Great, we’ll each have one,” Jason interrupted.

  The waitress shot him a surprised glance, her confusion at his lack of interest evident. Her reaction didn't surprise him. That's why he stayed away fro
m young girls. A little attention from an older man translated into a fantasy relationship in their deluded little minds. They had no idea how a guy like Nate operated; or a guy like Jason, for that matter. If they did, they wouldn't be so quick to offer themselves at the first sign of interest. In all likelihood, they'd keep their distance, and they'd be correct to do so.

  "Will that be all then?” the waitress asked, without so much as a crack in her bubbly demeanor.

  “Yeah, sweetheart, that’ll be all,” Nate responded, shooting her an appreciative smile before she darted in the direction of a man hailing her from across the room.

  Once the waitress was out of earshot, Nate turned to Jason. “What was that about?”

  “Just keeping you honest. Besides, I don’t particularly have a taste for groupies tonight.”

  “I never thought I’d see the day when Jason Chastain cared enough to defend the sanctity of marriage. Don’t worry; I haven't forgotten that I’m a married man. I might look at the car, run my hands over its smooth surface, see how it feels to sink into the seats and smell the new car smell; I might even turn it on just to hear the engine purr, but that’s as far as I’ll go. I’m sure a confirmed bachelor like yourself can respect that.”

  Jason shot Nate an amused smile. “Hey, I’m just looking out for Jen. She was my first college crush, until you stole her from me. That was back when you were able to get a girl that I liked.”

  “Do you remember that first day we met? We were roommates in our dorm,” Nate reminisced. “You were green as they come — just an innocent kid from Scarsdale. You’d never done more than kiss a girl: completely ignorant of the hedonistic world of drugs, all night partying, and women. You were like a mythological creature that I’d only read about in fables and children’s stories — the perfect specimen, ripe for corruption. Jen was just the first casualty of your naïveté. Knowing you now, it’s hard to believe that kid ever existed.”

  “I remember,” Jason said, his eyes eclipsed with the dark clouds that hovered over his past. “That kid is long gone. Now I’m just another lost and damaged soul trying to make sense of this world. Just like you Nate.”

  “Thanks, man,” Nate replied sarcastically.

  “But seriously, I’m glad to see marriage has made an honest man out of you.”

  “A neutered one anyway. It's a far cry from our Princeton days. Do you remember how we were back then?”

  Jason furrowed his brow with distaste at the memory. “We were dogs — a different girl every night.”

  “Ah, the good old days. Women threw themselves at us. They were practically lining up for their turn. What I wouldn’t give to be young and carefree again. Everything seemed so much simpler back then.”

  “I guess,” Jason shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t think of our days at Princeton with a great deal of fondness.”

  “Right, because of Amber…”

  “Among other things,” Jason grimaced.

  “Remember, the website we set up?”

  “The Hit List, I forgot about that. We weren’t subtle about the name,” Jason laughed, despite himself.

  “A whole database of hot women, their measurements, and how likely they were to put out based on who they’d already been with.”

  “Those were some complicated schematics,” Jason joked.

  “Hey, that was my algorithm, and it worked every time. I never had an unhappy customer.”

  “With your talent for creating algorithms, you could have been the next Larry Page or Sergey Brin. Who knows, you could have been a billionaire by now.”

  “Meh, I was too busy getting laid,” Nate shrugged. “I won’t say I regret those years. I was young, and I thought I owned the world. It’s a good feeling to have at least once in your life. You shouldn’t regret them either. We might not be billionaires, but we’re both doing pretty well for ourselves. Didn’t you land a CMO position at Fusion Media? That’s one of the largest ad agencies in New York. I should know, I tried hiring them to market my encryption app, and they rejected me. Considering their snobbery towards who they choose to accept as clientele, I’m betting you’re already pulling in seven figures. If you’d stayed in New York, instead of hiding out in California and Seattle all these years, you would have been making that kind of money long ago. But I’m sure you had plenty incentive to stay away. I bet there’s a trail of broken hearts all up and down the west coast.”

  Jason resisted his instinct to wince. For years he’d used women, sometimes for a night, sometimes longer. Women were never anything more to him than meaningless sex. When he finished with one, there was always another ready to take her place in his bed. Sure, there were the misguided few who mistook his attentions for something more. But they quickly learned that Jason Chastain didn’t do relationships.

  Jason had never been one for long and painful goodbyes so he’d let them down gently with a kiss on the cheek and a few saccharine words teeming with disingenuous sentiment. It was as though he was carrying out a scene of the same play, each time with a different female lead. She’d proclaim that she couldn’t live without him, and he would gently touch her face as a tear ran down her cheek. Then he’d lean in, so she was close enough to feel the heat between them, with his lips only inches from hers, gazing solemnly into her eyes. And in a soothing voice, he’d palliate her distress with the one line that never failed: “We had a good run, but I think it’s time you went back to your husband.”

  After Amber, Jason made a point to only sleep with women who were married, preferably to wealthy men. This way, they had something to lose. His experiences rendered single women too much of a liability. They were possessive and had every motivation to sink their claws into him and not let go until they bled him dry of everything he had. He learned that bitter lesson with Amber. That’s how he ended up with a 12-year-old son whose mother lived in a psych ward on 24-hour suicide watch.

  Since Amber, he held hard and fast to his married women only rule. In California, there was an abundance of bored socialites hoping to find reprieve from their prosaic lives of endless shopping, parties, and disinterested husbands. He took precautions to offer them nothing in return for their time except a good fuck and some company. He never bought them gifts, took them on lavish trips, or owed them favors. If they left their husbands, they would forfeit the life with which they’d grown accustomed; and they wouldn’t have him because he would have already moved on. The arrangement worked well for him. He lived his life a free man, without attachment. That all changed, with her.

  He still thought about her. Her face haunted his dreams, and when he closed his eyes, visions of her flashed through his mind. Anytime he saw a woman with long, brown hair; his heart raced with the anticipation that when she turned around, he'd see her sweet smile on those luscious pink lips, of his dreams, that he’d kissed tenderly so many times. His hope was quickly supplanted with disappointment when he realized it was just another nondescript brunette. All women were decidedly unremarkable, compared to Bridget.

  “Well, you know me—new area code, new woman,” Jason replied, dismissively.

  “More like new night, new woman. I knew you were still hustling. Do me a favor and don’t ever change. You’re living the dream man, you’re living the dream,” Nate said, giving Jason a genial slap on the back.

  Before Jason could reply, the waitress showed up with their food. Nate’s eyes lit up as she sauntered around them, placing their plates on the bar.

  “Can I get you guys anything else?” She asked, with a kittenish smile directed towards Nate.

  “No, that will be all,” Jason said, interrupting Nate before he could answer.

  “Okay, well just holler if you need anything,” she said, with a wink pointed in Nate's direction.

  “Thanks, we will,” Jason replied, turning his attention to Nate, “What was that about?”

  Nate pulled out a folded piece of paper. “She slipped me her number,” he said, flashing a mischievous grin.

  “It look
s like you’ve moved past smelling the new car smell.”

  “Old habits die hard. Don’t worry; I’m not going to do anything with it.”

  “Really?” Jason asked, doubtfully.

  “Probably not. Come on, man. I don’t have your freedom. With the baby coming and all the stress at the office, I haven’t had a decent fuck in months. I’m practically a goddamn saint for not straying earlier. Besides, did you see the rack on her? She looks like a lot of fun. What’s one test drive going to hurt?”

  “Say no more. As you said, I’m the last person to lecture. I don’t exactly have a track record for monogamy,” Jason replied, before taking a bite into his burger.

  “I knew you’d understand. You know, living the life of a husband in the burbs isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes it feels more like playing make believe. Like that board game, you know with the car and the people in it.”

  “The Game of Life?”

  “Yeah, that’s it. I have all these things I have to check off my list: go to college, check; get a job, check; get married, check; buy a house, check; have 2.5 kids, check. Where’s the spontaneity in that? It’s like we’re on a road where life is planned out in squares and we’re just trying to advance to the next one. Sometimes I think, what’s the point? What is the next square going to bring me that the last one didn’t? More money? Say I have an especially lucrative year with my software company, then Jennifer will want a bigger house, more children, and another nanny. Every scenario moving forward involves me working harder and enjoying life less. It makes me wonder how I ended up this way. When we were in college, we were going to rule the world. Now the world’s ruling us. Except you. Nothing seems to keep you down. Yeesh, you’re laying hard into that burger.”